Emelia Valcius and the Good Deed
by Anebrd
Summary: Take one Imperial Cultist in search of a good deed and mix with a naked Nord. Hopefully it produced something amusing.


Our heroine, Emelia Valcius was wandering the back roads of the West Gash, feeling confused and lost spiritually as well as physically. She was trying to be a good Imperial Cultist. She was stealing back bowls from crooked high elves and ridding basements of ghosts. She even mentioned to the wood elf that he had a very good case against his landlord. Everyone knows landlords are supposed to tell their renters when they rent out a house on cursed ground. However her good deeds for the Imperial Cult were not what was bothering her. She had read the Imperial Cult handbook twice and it stated clearly that Imperial Cultist were supposed to do good deeds just because it was the right thing to do.

Her good deed had resulted in a reward of some stupidly enchanted boots and helping a wanted con artist escape into the swamp town Gnaar Mok. Now she had tried to explain but the guard keep trying to imply that that she was that redguard's partner in crime. Emelia could almost see herself being hung in that guard's eyes. She got herself out of that mining town in two shakes of a squib's tail. Still she felt guilty. She was supposed to be one of the good guys. She offered a prayer for sign from the gods in the middle of that dusty path.

"What are ye doing?" boomed a deep nord voice

She opened her eyes excited that her prayers had been answered so quickly and then as quickly shut them back. She wonder why the gods had sent her the answer in the form of a naked nord. Maybe Mara was the one who was listening. Emelia had heard some particular things about Mara's followers.

"Are ye touched in the head?" boomed the voice again

Emelia opened her eyes, took a few steps back and pointed out that she wasn't crazy. She was the one wearing clothes.

" I was wearing clothing until the witch stole them and Cloudreaver."

"Witches are evil. This one must be particularly vile for stealing your puppy. Don't worry I will help you recover your pet!"

The nord blinked. "Cloudreaver is an ax. My father created it –"

"Ill help you recover your pet ax!" interrupted Emelia gleefully happy. Killing witches has to be a excellent good deed and took off with a skip down the road. The nord consider letting her skip down the road in the wrong direction. He had the feeling that perhaps the Imperial had been visited by Sheogorath, Of course she was quite willing to go head to head with the witch.

"She's that way!" he boomed pointing up the hill twice.

And even if the Imperial was crazy, she was very pretty.

So Emelia the Imperial Knight and her naked nord companion hurried forth to battle the witch. Every fiber of Emelia's being was fill with glee at completeing this good deed. Then there was the witch with her robe and staff looking bored.

"Witch, I am the defender of … this Nord"

"Wine-sot"

Emelia turned around. " Don't insult her while I am challenging her trying to recover your pet ax."

"Now evil witch, will you return what you stole or will you tasted my blade?"

The tension was building. Emelia's blood was boiling. She licked her lips – ready to leap forward in the defense of the naked and cold.

"Yes, I will return this boor his items."

Emelia blinked and lowered her sword.

"What?"

"He will come to Caldera's Mage guild in three days and Ill give him all his goodies."

"Why not now?" ask Emelia

The breton's face became red and angry. " You should have been here to see how he treats women."

The Nord snorted. " Let's kill her and get my ax back."

Emelia sighed. " I am not going to kill someone that promised to return your stuff. Look she's not fighing us. She's just standing there…"

" You won't help me" growled the nord

" Ill go buy you some pants. " snapped Emelia

" You'll die bit-"

Emelia didn't quite hear that last part. She thought he couldn't be THAT stupid to attack someone in full armour with a razor sharp sword right before a right upper cut caught her off guard and sent her crashing into the ground. She managed to get to her feet before he slammed her back into the dirt with solid left jab.

" Why in the name of Imperial Cult did this idiot think he needed help?" thought Emelia as he attempted to stomp her as she lay on the ground. Luckily she had managed to get the shield up before the nord attempted to plant her into the ground. She managed to grab an ankle and threw him off balance for the few seconds she needed to get back on her feet. She managed to weave and dodge his fists as she drunk healing and stamina potions. Then the nord scream and ran straight to her.

All Emelia had to do was hold her sword out and let the nord impale himself.

As the naked Nord's lifeblood drained out, the Breton witch screamed and Emelia felt the curse hit her a second later.

The witch took two steps toward her.

"Do you know how hard it is to find a good man? " scream the witch as she swung her staff at Emelia's head.

Emelia drop the shield and caught the staff. The witch blinked and looked down to where a silver long sword had buried itself into her stomach. Emelia twisted and jerked the sword out.

" I understand that you could've bought a good man up north of here but I could be wrong."

The witch made a low gurling noise and fell over dead.

Minutes later, Emelia with a backpack full of blood soak loot and carrying her new pet ax, was back to thinking about good deeds.


End file.
